i'm looking for a nice way to say i'm out...

Mon, 17 Sep 2007 04:57:06 GMT

Fuck Broadway Calls.

Yeah, I said it.

Let's fight.

"i can't sleep cause it's only four in the morning..."

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 20:49:47 GMT

Please, somebody get knocked up so I can see a baby wear this:

In other news, hockey starts in 10 days. =)

"bad actors with bad habits, some sad singers they just play tragic..."

Fri, 13 Oct 2006 04:10:28 GMT

Sad songs? Share.

I'd say this is a time I need my friends the most, but at this point I'm not really sure what that means.

"whoever is righteous, let him be righteous still..."

Sat, 30 Sep 2006 02:41:03 GMT

I am insanely lonely. Why do people have to have jobs? Cash is not here either but that is both a good thing and a bad thing (bad thing because I miss him and it's really quiet in here, good thing because he has been a huge twat lately). So without Cash and Byron, I'm pretty much a man alone out here. I always have a headache and want to sleep.

Other than doing nothing, there has been some progress with school. At the end of this semester, I will have completed my AA and will be transferring to UNM to get a BA in psychology. I was initially terrified of this but now I'm at peace with it and actually kind of excited. Being able to take all these classes that interest me is so much more appealing than community college. Pretty much the next two years will be devoted entirely to school because I want to get this ish done. I am pretty confident that I will rule at this. (It takes one to know one)

Oh, I guess the other interesting thing that I'm doing is helping my mom with her book. I suppose now I'm old enough to appreciate them and I like being a part of the process. I have done some research and filing and analyses. She makes me feel like my role is really important and I feel awesome about contributing to such a prestigious text.

So that's pretty much my life right now. I'm excited about autumn. I can't stop thinking about cheese and pickle subs from Subway. I find myself constantly reflecting upon the past 20 years of my life. I am obsessed with reading books, but I've also become addicted to TV. I take melatonin to sleep so I'm off prescription drugs but it dries out my mouth at night. My hair is getting kind of long. I am dying for a new digital camera and a Hello Kitty bowling ball. Hockey starts soon but I'm nervous it will suck. I miss when I used to not care what people thought about me. I miss Raphaela. My ankle hurts.

he got big.

"sometimes i think i am out of my league and then sometimes i think i can dream..."

Thu, 17 Aug 2006 03:50:08 GMT

You Are Annoying:

- People who viciously hate someone and then are best friends a week later...I am more so annoyed by the people who take the abuse and then just suck the asshole's dick anyway.

- People whose myspace pictures include gratuitous drinking, smoking, or nudity. Put your tits away, girl.

- People who ride my nuts about hanging out but then don't put any effort into it themselves. This also includes when I make plans and I just get ignored.

- People who can't shut up their fucking dogs or their fucking children.

- Asshole drivers.

- People who provide sex tips for Cosmo. You people are out of your minds.

- People who make really poor decisions for themselves and won't listen to the advice of a person they supposedly respect.

- People who messed it up so that we can't bring liquids on planes.

- People who talk to my boyfriend. And by people I mean stupid whores.

- People (either driving or walking) who just stop suddenly. I know this is a really difficult concept to wrap your minds around, but there is a slight possibility that there may be moving people behind you who do not realize that you want to look into the window at Claire's and that you can only do so by coming to a complete stop.

- People who make excessive amounts of noise in a residential area early in the morning. It would be awesome if you could wait until I'm not asleep to saw down trees and let your kids have yelling contests right outside my window.

"did you see those fireworks explode and fall and fade like tears?"

Tue, 20 Jun 2006 04:07:45 GMT

Things I Am Trying to Improve About Myself:
1. Try to be less paranoid. Not everybody hates you.
2. I'm not going to let people bully me. I am going to be more assertive.
3. I am going to make an effort to do at least one non-Byron friend thing a week (call, write, hang out, etc).
4. I need to not get mad about things that aren't really mad-worthy.
5. I think it would be better if I found a way to keep myself busy.
6. Not worry about whether or not I'm bothering people. [This sort of relates to number one.]

"I could have it all if only you were here..."

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 01:55:06 GMT

I wish I spent more time loving and less time hating. It is so much harder than it looks.

Meet Cash.

Tue, 09 May 2006 00:57:02 GMT

Hey...here's the puppy:

He plays with toys now!

Yeah, I don't know.

Aww, I miss you.

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 17:03:58 GMT

You Know You're From Maryland When...

You know more than 10 people who own boats and they all park them at the same marina in Annapolis

You can pronounce and spell "Pocomoke," "Mattaponi," "Accokeek," and "Havre de Grace"

You prononce "Bowie" BOO-ie not BOW-ie or BAUW-ie

1 hour is an easy commute to work

You have more than three recipies for crabcakes

French fries just don't taste right without Old Bay

There are more than two crab places in your town

Even your high school cafeteria made good crabcakes

You got your first lacrosse stick before you were six years old

You call all turtles "terrapins"

You refer to your state as "Merlind"

Your mother shops at Hecht's

You still call Six Flags America "Adventure World", or even "Wild World"

You still remember the Wild World commercial (Wild World's the cure for the summertime blues!)

You can tell the difference between the smells of septic and marsh.

You not only know how to eat hard crabs but you also know how to catch them, cook them and tell the males from the females.

You don't think that Assawoman Bay is a strange name for a body of water.

You know perfectly well why Rehoboth is called "Little San Francisco"

M R Ducks makes perfect sense.

So does C M Wangs.

You think Salisbury is a big city.

You think of dumplings as wet slippery squares of boiled dough.

You and your boss take off of work when the fish are running or the ducks are flying in.

You've eaten muskrat at a church dinner but think it's better the way you fix it.

You think of "Dairy Queen" as a pageant title and not a place to get an ice cream.

"Formal wear" is a ball cap, a flannel shirt and Timberlands.

You still root for the Orioles even when they suck

You'll never understand why tourists come to DC.

When in Florida, you can only laugh when you see signs saying "Real Maryland Blue Crab Cakes!"

You color with "Crowns", take a "Share" with "Wooter" and think the president lives in "Warshenton."

You know the difference between Glen Burnie ghetto and Catonsville ghetto.

Your whole family lives within a 200 mile radius of your town.

Dale Earnhardt's accident was a close personal loss to your father

At least one man in your family is a waterman

You plan for "The Festival" a year in advance.

During the summer, you spend more time in Ocean City than at home.

Margret Heater, Hedspace, Jepetto, Outside Joke and Mary Prankster are people you think are "Famous"

Your radio dial is stuck on 99.1

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Maryland.

Get Your Own "You Know You're From" Meme Here

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"we cut without a knife..."

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 21:52:29 GMT

This made my day:

"her hips, her hips are like seashells..."

Wed, 26 Apr 2006 04:53:53 GMT

sidenote: I deleted my aim account. So anyone who wants to talk to me, let's hit up the lost art of letter writing.

Oh yeah, and remember when I was really big on apathy? Yes, let's consider that reinstated.

"what if god's not there? but his name is on your dollar bill..."

Wed, 19 Apr 2006 03:57:25 GMT

Oh, and also, I abhor pretentious people. You should be stripped of your scene points.

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 19:58:08 GMT

Stop making movies about spelling bees! We get it.

"do you think it's going to make him change?"

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 00:56:37 GMT

I am not sure why the sound of children is so repulsive, but it definitely is. I am very excited that I get to open my 'windows' to let the breeze in, but that is a double-edged sword. Maybe I would be less hateful if they would let me play with them. But, in a few weeks, I will not even need their pity because I will have a puppy! Or, more precisely, I will have half a puppy. 5/7. I am literally counting down the seconds until May 6th when I get to snatch up a puppy.

I am less concerned about people than I used to be. I am trying harder to mask my awkwardness but I still feel that I have a long way to go. Reintegration into society is not immediate. For some reason, though, I feel comforted with the approach of summer.

Hopefully, this summer will be my last semester at TVI (excuse me, Central New Mexico Community College). For those of you dying to know, this will be my schedule:

Modern World Civilizations MW 1:30-3:20
Intro to Theatre TR 1:30-3:20
Public Speaking (online)
Intro to Anthropology (online)
A+P for Non-Majors (possibly)

Those seem very random but they are what I need to finish up. After that I am going to take off some time, work a little, and then maybe figure out the rest of my life. That is far too daunting of a task right now, though.

These kids are getting younger. I am getting older. Life keeps hurdling by at lightning speed and the next thing you know, we'll all be decrepit and still working at the mall. Just a thought. (And please everyone give up on this whole changing bffs and girlfriends every two minutes - you look ridiculous.)

"cause people, they're gonna get away from the sun..."

Tue, 28 Mar 2006 05:35:35 GMT

Insane.

"you have to accept that you are here and then you're gone..."

Thu, 02 Mar 2006 22:43:24 GMT

This is that quiz with the percentages. Here is what it boiled down to:

neat freak, organized, worrying, phobic, fears the unknown, irritable, pessimistic, emotionally sensitive, fears chaos, risk averse, fragile, unadventurous, depressed, frequently second guesses self, likes to fit in, does not like to stand out, perfectionist, hard working, does not like to be alone, clingy, dependent, practical, ordinary, cautious, takes precautions, good at saving money, suspicious, heart over mind, busy, altruistic

I'm not sure how I feel about this. There is not one positive emotional characteristic. Am I really that bad? Of course, my paranoia and hypersensitivity were at 83% so I guess this makes sense.

"monday, you could fall apart...tuesday, wednesday, break my heart..."

Mon, 27 Feb 2006 04:10:34 GMT

"What could be more stupid than to persist in carrying a burden that we constantly want to cast off, to hold our existence in horror, yet cling to it nonetheless, to fondle the serpent that devours us, until it has eaten our heart?" - Voltaire

"i guess we'll just have to adjust..."

Wed, 22 Feb 2006 02:58:53 GMT

What is occurring in my life? Nothing terribly exciting. I am a barely functioning human being. I do not sleep well; I am always tired. I go to class. I sit at home. I see the boy when we both get a chance. And, I am now afraid of people. I cannot converse with strangers, let alone people I know. I am petrified of doing anything without Byron next to me. I don't like that I'm so dependent right now yet when I look back at my history, it makes sense. I thought I had grown up and become a real person but there always seem to be setbacks.

Don't let me cut my hair, okay? And also don't let me get a puppy. I really, really want one but it's just not logical right now. I wish there was a pet store in the mall where you can play with puppies like in Annapolis. That always used to be heaven, but the dogs have gotten really aggressive lately. And they only bite me.

Tomorrow is Andrew Katzberg's birthday. I miss him. I miss hockey. Actually, let's make a of things I miss: Raphaela, Lauren, Adam, Georgetown, swimming, trees, photography, my brother, having a fun job, Project Runway (or at least when it ends March 8th), singing in the car, playgrounds, free smoothies, Daryl Moor, good shows, arguments, crab soup, my family. Most of these things are Maryland-related and I have to wait until August to fix them. I hope that I am done with school by then but at the same time I don't because I have no idea what I am going to do.

Oh, and you're going to want to look at these boys. And here.

oh lord.

Thu, 09 Feb 2006 03:38:53 GMT

+

=

"i would really love to kiss you but i'm in no condition..."

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 02:22:52 GMT

I wish I could get over how much I miss being seventeen. Those were the greatest times anyone could ask for. I spent the whole time feeling dead, but in retrospect, that was probably the most alive I've ever been. I want to be carefree and careless again, and I don't know why I hold myself back from that now. Everything surrounding me feels so oppressive and unkind that I cannot enjoy life as I should. Cold weather and growing up is a horrible combination. Sadly, I cannot think of a quick fix. I need to get over myself and over the people who hurt me. My current situation is not that bad, but it's not for me. I'm devastated to think that I've already hit my peak.

come on and get gone,
come on and get gone.
come on, you can't go home;
the night is young,
i'm blacking out
but it's been fun.

"there are things that we've done that we cannot undo..."

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 03:04:08 GMT

Dear Everyone,
Please, do not talk to me about how great you think the following movies are:

Napoleon Dynamite
Garden State
Lost In Translation
Fight Club
Thirteen

In doing such, you are giving me permission to put razors up your cunt.
- Thanks

"me and your daughter got a special thing going on..."

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 04:36:33 GMT

I had a whole productive entry in my head, but I got very thrown off by this coversation about loose vaginas.

So, basically, I've come to the conclusion that it is pointless to be upset about things I cannot control. I make myself so sad sometimes and it is so counterproductive. I'm done wasting my time sulking about the past or someone else's feelings or a friend's absence. There are too few hours in a day and it's important to me that I stay positive right now.

Now, contrary to that, I'm being a huge baby about school. My classes start tomorrow and I am not in the least bit enthused. I am so nervous about it as if this were my first college semester ever. I perfectly handled 12 credits last term, but the idea of doing it again now is overwhelming. I'm sure once I get into it again, I'll be fine. But it wouldn't be normal Stephanie fashion to not worry about everything I ever do.

I am sickish and I'm not feeling it.

Byron got me roses. He is the best boy ever and I will hit anyone who disagrees.

"it's you i was thinking of..."

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 18:14:16 GMT

Plagiarized with love from Raphaela.

I have an inability to cry at the appropriate time. I cannot sleep without pharmaceutical assistance. Breaking routines scares me. I'm very hard to deal with. I have tiny boobs. I hate being around people who are dumb or elitist. I want a puppy or a baby panda. I am an old person. I like books written by cynical gay men. I want to fight for a cause, but I am far too lazy. I love my boyfriend. I'm very excited that R's nephew will be born soon. I miss the days when doing nothing meant everything in the world. I like hockey. I wish that I read more. I wish I had a plan. My name is Stephanie Meagan Ignatavicius. I'm a nut. I don't think before I speak. I'm very sad sometimes. I like music. I cringe when knuckles are cracked. I bite my nails while driving. I'm scared...all of the time. I like holding hands and basically any form of comforting physical contact. My favorite people are Raphaela, Byron, Lauren, Adam, my mom, and my puppies. I wish that I were a better friend. I think that unicorns are the greatest things ever. I like to look at paintings. Sometimes I love taking walks but usually I don't leave my apartment. I like tattoos but I do not like my own. I rarely focus. I think that airports are the worst places ever. I want to adopt if I ever have kids. I love dogs (especially Lucky+Jerry, but Otis, for a cat, is exceptional.) I miss my lip piercing. I'm tired a lot. I'm in pain constantly. I grew up in Maryland. I love the bay area. I get really emotional & bitchy really easily. I am in love. I wish people knew what blinkers were. I'm an atheist. I'm always overly dramatic about everything. I don't mind fish, except when they die.

"keep the blood in your head, and keep your feet on the ground..."

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 03:08:43 GMT

You know you grew up in the 90's if ...

X all the ones that apply to you

[x] 1. You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" (sike?)

[x] 2. You watched the Pound Puppies

[x] 3. You can sing the rap to "The Fresh Prince Of Bel Air"

[x ] 4. You wore biker shorts under your skirts and felt stylish

[x] 5. You yearned to be part of the Baby-Sitters club

[x ] 6. You owned those little Strawberry Shortcake pals scented dolls

[x] 7. You know that "WOAH" comes from Joey from "Blossom" or that "How Rude!" comes from Stephanie from "Full House"

[x] 8. If you ever watched "Fraggle Rock" (Seriously - when is somebody going to get me Fraggle Rock tapes?)

[x] 9. If you had plastic streamers on your handle bars (soon...)

[ ] 10. You can sing the entire theme song to "Duck Tales"

[x] 11. You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons

[ ] 12. You wore a ponytail on the side of your head

[x] 13. You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school. (We also had a program with a turtle that changed colors - does anyone know to what I'm referring?)

[x]14. You played the game "MASH" (mansion, apartment, shack, house) (Wow. You know what I'll be doing tonight....)

[ ] 15. You wore a Jordache Jean Jacket and were proud of it.

[ ] 16.You had L.A Gear

[x] 17. You wanted to change your name to "JEM" in kindergarten

[x] 18. You remember reading "Tales of the Fourth Grade Nothing" and all the Ramona books

[ ] 19. You know the profound meaning of "Wax on, wax off" (I know the reference, but I have never seen a Karate Kid movie.)

[ ] 20. You wanted to be a Goonie

[x] 21. You ever wore flourescent clothing.

[x] 22. You can remember what Michael Jackson looked like before his nose fell off

[x] 23. You have pondered why Smurfette was the only female smurf

[x] 24. You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school

[x] 25. You remember the craze then the banning of snap bracelets

[ ] 26. You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence...Not...

[ ] 27. You remember hyper-color t-shirts

[x] 28. Barbie and the Rockers was your favorite band

[x] 29. You thought She-Ra and He-Ra should hook up (I thought She-Ra was a He-Man girl? Who is this He-Ra?)

[ ] 30. You thought your childhood friends would never leave because you exchanged friendship bracelets

[x] 31. You owned a pair of jelly sandals.

[x] 32. After you saw "Pee-Wee's Big Adventure" you kept saying "I know you are but what am I" (That movie scared me.)

[x] 33. You remember "I've fallen and I can't get up"

[x] 34. You remember going to the skating rink before there were inline skates

[x] 35. You never got injured on a Slip 'n' Slide

[x] 36. You had or attended a birthday party at Mcdonalds

[xxxx] 37. You've gone through this occasionally saying "awwww"

[x] 38. You remember the popples

[x] 39. " Don't worry, be happy".

[x] 40. You wore socks over tights (Are you kidding me? I did that til I was 18.)

[x] 41. You wore socks scrunched down. (See above ^)

[x] 42. You know the whole Miss Mary Mack hand clapping game. (OMG. I have to do this now).

[x] 43. You remember boom boxes vs. cd players

[x] 44. You remember watching both "Gremlins" movies

[x] 45. You knew what it meant to say "Care Bear Stare"

[x] 46. You remember having "Rainbow Brite" and "My Little Ponies" (I only had MLP. I'm so badass, I've got the tattoo).

[x ] 47. You thought Doogie Houser was hot

[x] 48. You remember Alf, the little brown alien from Melmac who ate cats

[ ] 49. You remember New Kids on The Block when they were cool

[X] 50. You knew all the characters names and their life stories on "Saved By The Bell" (I wanted to marry Zack Morris.)

[ ] 51. You know all the words to Bon Jovi

[x] 52. You played and or collected "Pogs"

[X] 53. You used to pretend you could transform into a MIGHTY MORPHIN Power Ranger

[x] 54. You had at least one GigaPet and brought it everywhere

[x] 55. You were obsessed with your "Easy Bake Oven" and/or your "Lite-Brite"

[] 56. You watched the original transformers at 6 in the morning!

[X] 57. You weren't cool unless you owned at LEAST 6 Beanie Babies

[x] 58. You owned at least 2 or more tamagotchi

[x] 59. You tried spelling your name in an etch-a-sketch, and failed miserably

[x ] 60. You spent countless hours playing duck hunt and tried to shoot the dog.

[x] 61. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were your idols (I need to watch those movies right now.)

"stay in school cause it's the best..."

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 04:50:18 GMT

I, hate the, inappropriate use of, commas.
I hate how things bother me, and I have to pretend they don't.
I hate Troy McClure.
I hate guns.
I hate people who dispute everything I say.
I hate friends who turn their backs when something better comes along.
I hate being tired.

I love